and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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