I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
PS: I just woke up from my shower
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
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