my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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