That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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