I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
