I'm lost and stupid without you.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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