And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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