he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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