I'm going to jail i love you
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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