Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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