she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
