You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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