Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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