matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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