I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
