I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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