I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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