dude i'm inner monologue high
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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