the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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