So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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