The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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