You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
