so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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