i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
