Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
