y did u give ur computer a hand job?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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