I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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