does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
MIDGETS
????
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
