38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We're too hungover to prance.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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