2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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