I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
