shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
