You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
