that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
