I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Less talking, more tequila
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
