Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
