Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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