In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
