Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
