Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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