im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I forgot how hot balto sounded
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
