How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Too much gin, very little bucket
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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