I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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