OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
