forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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