the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
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It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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