I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
