Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
