What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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