I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
