her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
