Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize