She announced her abortion via fbk
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
