i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
being pregnant is like rehab
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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